News & The Journey of Motherhood

Hi Friends,

First, the news: Beyond the Night was just named a finalist for in the National Readers Choice Awards. Yay!

Next, in preparation for Mother's Day coming up, I wanted to share a letter I wrote to a friend awhile back when she was considering whether she wanted to try having a baby:

Dear Friend,

So, you’re thinking about embarking on the journey of motherhood? Is it worth it, you ask? Will it be too difficult? Too scary? How well I understand your hopes and fears! Not so long ago, I too was wondering.

But now, after a few years of being “Mommy,” here’s my take on it: Beautiful, wondrous, nerve-wracking, crazy, incredible, scary, and worth every minute. My mom-in-law says motherhood the hardest job you'll ever love. And so it is. There are moments of breathtaking wonder. Then, there are times when I'm sure I'm losing my mind permanently.

People say children will change your life. I have not found that to be so. I still do the same things I did before. I write, go out to eat, stare at the blank computer screen and think about how I ought to be writing, sneak a game of computer solitaire while no one’s looking, scrub toilets, teach Sunday School, read a good book (though, I must admit, it's been mostly Dr. Suess and Sandra Boynton here lately). What has changed, however, is who I am. I am "Mommy" now, and that makes all the difference.

Someone looks up at me with big, dark eyes and knows that everything is all right now because Mommy's here. Someone watches how I interact with others and takes her cue from me. Someone laughs when I come into the room and sometimes cries when I leave it (I'll be glad when we're over this latter part). Someone toddles across the room, then looks at me with a big grin, wanting my approval. Someone gives me big, open-mouth kisses and nuzzles into my neck when I pick her up. Someone puts her fingers up my nose then puts my fingers up hers. Somebody smiles, a huge joy-filled smile, when I read books and make silly noises. Someone stops to listen when I sing and doesn't care if I'm out of tune and my voice cracks. Someone pulls the sheet over her head, then pulls it down again fast and waits for me to say "peek-a-boo."

Those are the precious moments. They are treasures mined from a field of dirty diapers, concerns about eating, sometimes-little-sleep nights, crying (both of us), doctor appointments, and nooooooooooo Mommy, no nap for me - waaaaaaaaa.

So, should you too have a baby? I can’t tell you that. I can tell you to know what you're getting into, and don't let it be fear that stops you. And I can also tell you that I’m glad there’s someone who calls me Mommy, a little someone who reminds me daily that God has looked upon me with kindness.

Love,
Marlo