Hi Friends,I was thinking this week about weariness. I've been weary. Sometimes life seems like too much. Too much stress, too much worry, too many problems, too much to do. So I've been thinking about the ending of the chapter in Reaching for Wonder about the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years. 12 years is too much!
So, if you're weary, maybe this excerpt will encourage you as it did me:
Who Is This God?
So who is this God?
He is the God of Face-to-Face Hope. He is the God of Unexpected Blessing.
He always has been.
When we are weary, when we are terrified and feel trapped, when we’ve sent all our resources away in hopes of buying what we long for, when we are alone, that is the time to be like Jacob on the edge of the Jabbok River (Genesis 32).
In Genesis 32, Jacob was afraid that his brother was coming to kill him and take or destroy everything he had. He feared not only the loss of his life, but the loss of his possessions and family as well. He feared what the bleeding woman experienced.
So in the middle of the night, Jacob took all of his family and possessions to the other side of the river. Then he was alone. But he was not alone. Verses 24-31 tell us:
But Jacob stayed apart by himself, and a man wrestled with him until dawn broke . . . The man said, “Let me go because the dawn is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.” He said to Jacob, “What’s your name?” and he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name won’t be Jacob any longer, but Israel,because you struggled with God and with men and won.” . . . and he blessed Jacob there. Jacob named the place Peniel,“because I’ve seen God face-to-face, and my life has been saved.”
For Jacob there was never any “good enough.” He wouldn’t settle for less than a full blessing. He wrestled for it, and would not walk away. For him, there were no “justs” and “onlys.” He wanted the most that God would give. He often sought blessing deceitfully, but there was something in him that God prized, because God cannot be manipulated, and yet Jacob did get the blessings.
What are we asking God for? Is it enough? Is it relational? Are we asking to see his face, to know him better, to be a beloved daughter or son?
In our weariness, in our desperation, when we’ve spent all, done all, and have nothing left but one last chance to grab to edge of his garment, remember, there is no sneaking away into the crowd. Our God insists on giving us more than just a healing, only making it stop. He insists on the face-to-face encounter that will heal more than our bodies. It will heal our souls.
Lord, help me not to settle for “good enough”
when I’m tired and broken and out of options.
May I see you for who you really are — a God who loves me
and longs to look into my face so that I might hear the words,
“Take heart, daughter; take heart, son,” and be more than healed.
May I always believe that knowing you more deeply
is better than just making the pain stop.
Turn around, Lord. May I see your face today.
May I hear your voice speaking life in my weariness.
