In honor of Mother's Day, I thought I'd share a few thoughts on being "Mom."
Being "Mom" is . . .
Beautiful, wondrous, nerve-wracking, crazy, incredible, scary, and worth every minute.
My mom-in-law says motherhood the hardest job you'll ever love. And so it is. There are moments of breathtaking wonder. Then, there are times when I'm sure I'm losing my mind permanently.
People say children will change your life. I have not found that to be entirely so. I still do the same things I did before. I write, go out to eat, stare at the blank computer screen and think about how I ought to be writing, sneak a game of computer solitaire while no one’s looking, scrub toilets, read a good book (though, I must admit, it's been mostly Dr. Suess and Sandra Boynton here lately). What has changed, however, (besides the amount of laundry) is who I am. I am "Mommy" now, and that makes all the difference.
Someone looks up at me with big, wide eyes and knows that everything is all right now because Mommy's here. Someone watches how I interact with others and takes her cue from me. Someone laughs when I come into the room and sometimes cries when I leave it (I'll be glad when we're over this latter part). Someone races across the room, then looks at me with a big grin, wanting my approval. Someone gives me big, open-mouth kisses and nuzzles into my neck when I pick her up. Someone puts her fingers up my nose then puts my fingers up hers. Somebody smiles, a huge joy-filled smile, when I read books and make silly noises. Someone stops to listen when I sing and doesn't care if I'm out of tune and my voice cracks. Someone pulls the sheet over her head, then pulls it down again fast and waits for me to say "peek-a-boo." Someone draws me pictures, picks me flowers, and borrows my earrings.
Those are the precious moments. They are treasures mined from a field of dirty diapers, concerns about eating, sometimes-little-sleep nights, toy-filled floors, crying (several of us), doctor appointments, and (from Jayden) nooooooooooo Mama, no nap for me - waaaaaaaaa.
So, being Mom has changed my life a little, but has changed me a lot. I'm someone new now. .. Someone with greater joy and a lot more crazy. Someone who saves a scrawled "I Juv Mom. - Jayna" note like it's a treasure, and a picture of lopsided cat like it's Monet. I yell more and smile more. I laugh more and cry more too. I forget where I put my watch and spend half the day picking up toys and finding toilets that certain little someones have forgotten to flush.
But I can tell you this: My mom-in-law was right. I’m glad there’s someone who calls me Mommy, little someones (six, in fact,) who remind me daily that God has looked upon me with kindness, who remind me that God loves me no matter what, tears, tantrums, and all.